And Onan knew that the seed should not be his; and it came to pass, when he went in unto his brother’s wife, that he spilled it on the ground, lest that he should give seed to his brother. And the thing which he did displeased the LORD: wherefore he slew him also. (Genesis 38:9-10, King James Version)
FYI — by “seed” the Bible does not mean “sesame.” So, paraphrasing here, Onan had sex with his brother’s wife, but pulled out in time for his semen to hit the dirt. And his god killed him.
You might say the Lord performed a post-birth abortion.
Apparently, the Lord of the Old Testament is ultra-conservative. He believes that life begins not at conception, but at ejaculation.
Maybe the Bible god’s parents weren’t very explicit on the whole birds and the bees thing. Semen isn’t seed any more than pollen is. If you’ve taken BIO 101, you know you’re not going grow an eggplant by burying pollen. Ancient Hebrew story-tellers, however, didn’t know, and thus neither did their god.
You could additionally say about this verse that the Bible god wasn’t maddened by Onan sleeping with his brother’s wife. No, as the context makes clear, the crime was not giving this god another grandchild. And the brother an heir.
Where would we be without the teachings of the Bible? Right here in the 21st century.
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Tags: Bible, religion, Sunday Un-Sermon
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