Oh my gosh. This Onion news parody is just too good not to share. “Scientists Successfully Teach Gorilla it Will Die Someday.” I found it over at the blog of grrrlscientist.
This faux science news is also hilarious: Chimp In Cocaine Study Starts Lying To Friends
ATLANTA—Concerned workers at the National Primate Research Center said Bobo, a 5-year-old chimpanzee participating in a 16-month cocaine study, was observed this week lying to the faces of friends, family, and staff.
“Our goal was to determine how large doses of the stimulant would improve or impair the chimpanzee’s ability to perform memory and language tasks,” said primatologist Daniel Martin, the project’s lead researcher. “What we found was that cocaine not only disrupted Bobo’s concentration and recall, but it also caused him to lie, cheat, and emotionally manipulate those around him.”
Continued Martin, “Essentially, Bobo has become an asshole.”
Too rich!
April 5th, 2010 at 6:18 pm
Must. Not. Re-post.
Must. Not. Re-post.